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Dubya to Take The Mound in Cinci

by Andy Liakos
3/24/06

Dubya is scheduled to throw the first pitch in Cincinnati . Although the Reds are the league’s oldest franchise club, no President has yet to throw the first pitch in any of their opening games. Bush opened the season for St. Louis in 2004, and the Nationals in 2005. Great American Ball Park has only been open since 2003, where Bush Senior started off that season, and then in 2004 Vice President Dick Cheney threw the ceremonial pitch. Say what you want about Bush and his policies, but let’s just be grateful that Cheney isn’t throwing the first pitch again. I’d hate to see one of the players get beamed, or even worse, before the season officially starts.

Opening day in Cincinnati should be a great time, if you’re at all interested in the Reds. The heightened security surrounding the President allows the ballpark to open it’s door an extra four hours early, at ten o’clock in the morning. Ken Griffey Junior is scheduled to receive his 2005 National League Comeback Player of the Year Award, and Felipe Lopez will be honored with a Silver Slugger Award. Oddly enough, Dubya will be the first active President to attend a Reds game since 1912 when former President William Howard Taft, a Cincinnati native, would often frequent the games.

Come on Dubya, throw the heater. At this point, you really need to throw a nice fastball for a strike. I’m not sure how many more curveballs from you we can take.